February 2003
French articles
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An Undeniable First Love
By Lacey W., Grade 9, Fredericton High, Fredericton, NB

Love, an undesirable feeling, one that won't go away without a fight, I thought as I walked down the lonely halls. I still hadn't come up with the courage to move on and ask my newest crush (that wasn't really new) to go with me to the formal. My friends were trying to tell me that I wasn't over my latest ex, but I had a feeling. A feeling that there was something out there, silently waiting for me.

Later, when the bell rang through the school for afternoon classes, I walked out into the hall. The first thing I saw was him. I thought for about a milasec that I should go talk to him, but at the thought of that, my heart raced ten times the speed of normal. I looked up, and our eyes locked as my heart skipped a couple of beats.

The next few minutes are a little hazy now. It all happened so fast, it was like my whole world turned upside down and back again as I realized what had just happened. He had asked ME to go to the formal with HIM. I could hardly keep the smile off my face. Life was going good, but still I couldn't help it. I wasn't sure how to trust myself with him, and keep the pain from cutting into my heart.

Being with him was the best thing going for me. I tried to keep some distance, tried not to get too close. I couldn't help but wonder that if this one, single guy could make me so happy, what would happen if he were gone and everything I had with him no longer seemed real. Reality would no longer be real for me. It was too late now to turn back. I knew it at once...I loved him. So this is what it was like, love?

Five months had passed and we were still going strong. My first serious longest relationship. After awhile though, things started to get shaky, but I ignored the signals. It was all too perfect, like living a dream in reality. As quickly as it began, it was over. My whole world just seemed to fall apart at the seams. My life no longer seemed real, seemed true. I tried to search my soul and find myself, but finding nothing.

To this day, it's hard to believe that what I felt was true, because it's harder that way. To have loved and to have lost, it is the cruelest thing in the world.


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