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Yes or No to Teen Sex
By Anna Marie S., Holy Heart High, St. John's, NL

My mom wouldn't let me read any romance novels in church, so I read a Christian book called "Staying Pure." My friends introduced me to those romance novels; I loved how the guy would go through so much trouble to get the girl and how they'd live happily ever after. But since my mom wouldn't let me take those novels to church, I sat there, halfway through "Staying Pure," and became so interested in the story of a boyfriend who wanted sex so badly with his girlfriend that he threatened to breakup with her. She had enough will power to do what she wanted to do. He eventually did breakup with her and she found someone new who respected her decision to stay abstinent.

In 9th grade, sex was not such a big deal to me. I said to myself, the next guy who comes up to me is the one I'm going to do it with. Fortunately, that guy never came up; I'm glad he didn't because my whole perspective on sex changed when I hit the 11th grade.

Now, I'm waiting for my someone special, someone who respects not only my decisions about sex, but me.. Although I was brought up with the idea that sex is for after marriage. My choice to remain abstinent is for reasons beyond religion and morals. I know that I am nowhere close to being ready for the consequences that come along with sex. Too many people around me have already messed up a lot of things for themselves by choosing to be sexually active at such a young age, and I think it's very sad that for many of them, sex is no longer considered special and sacred. Sex is an act of love, not just an act of pleasure, and for me if you choose to have sex before marriage, be prepared for the consequences.

My friends take sex as no big thing. Some of them tell me I should just do it and get it over with. I'll sometimes reply with the saying, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free. I think it's true because why would a guy want a relationship with me if I'm having sex with him anyway. So I think about that as another factor as to why I'm not having sex.

Sometimes guys flirt with me and I definitely flirt back, but there are limits. We both know I'd never take it as far as sex. I think it's really hot that a guy would respect his girlfriend and wait. I definitely want someone who will have respect for me, whether they are virgins or not. I'm not trying to say that girls shouldn't have sex and guys should, because I totally respect you even if you are having sex just as long as you're not doing it in a crazy way or going around the block twice, as I would say.

It sounds kind of corny, but I'm totally honest—I would never give off the wrong message about love. What happened to the times when a girl and a guy would go out together and anticipate the first kiss. You know the special things, like leaving each other little love notes. Nowadays, us teens are just interested in getting our freak on or satisfying our needs. I'm not separating myself from the other teens because I'm human, I think about it too occasionally and when I do I usually try to occupy myself with something else like painting my nails, or explaining to my friends who and what Coldplay is (it's a band). There are other ways you can be intimate with your significant other, like telling them they look good today. Call them just to say hi and that you were missing them so you had to hear their voice.

That always works. Invite them to dinner at your house and cook (if you don't know how, there's always takeout). Hang out with him and paint his nails, and let him paint yours and no matter how hideous they look tell him that you couldn't do a better job. You can show affection for your mate without intercourse.

I just don't think I'd want to have sex without being prepared for the consequences of sexually transmitted diseases, pregnancy or rejection from my boyfriend or my friends. I don't like kids. I don't have any patience with children that cry and can't tell me what they want. Kids aren't a bad thing, but they're just something I know I'm not ready for. I don't want to worry about finding a good babysitter, buying diapers, why my baby is crying, is he or she all right, and what do I do to make it stop. Or how do I get treatment for my herpes outbreaks and how did I get Aids?

I also choose to stay abstinent because I don't want to look easy, or as they say around my school, "a freak." In high school, the rumors practically kill your reputation and social life. When you are a teen you have enough to worry about as it is. I have to worry about pimples, whether the cutest guy in school is noticing me and if I look cute. People who know me know that I like to have fun, I always have a smile on my face, and if you gave me 10 seconds you'd be just as happy as I am.

I like to spread the word to everyone that I think too many teens are taking up the responsibilities of adults. I think they need to smile, have fun or live a little. I'd like to think teens ask themselves these questions before engaging in sex, but most of them don't, at least that's the way it sounds when we talk about it in school. Some teens ask themselves these questions but get into sex anyway because they feel lonely or they're just curious to find out what it's all about.

I still read my romance novels in church but I'm willing to wait for romance, love and sex until I find the right guy. I am abstinent because sex should have love behind it, not just lust. I'd like to think that my romeo is going to whisk me away and we'll ride of into the sunset, or that we'll have little ones running around our white mansion with the white picket fence surrounding our house. I'll keep reading those novels because it makes me feel that there is hope out there and that I have something to wait for.


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