So maybe you think I can run a brush through my hair
once or twice and then "pow" I'm ready to go. Ha! For
starters, I can't even run a brush through my hair. If I did
it would get stuck and I would lose hopes of actually finding
it to get it out. Then, when it does come out sometime next week,
my hair would be so huge I would resemble someone who just got
her hand jammed in an electrical socket. (Think: Bride of Frankenstein).
Curly hair is no walk in the park, folks. Owning a wild, poofy,
messy mane of hair is hard work! Can you imagine waking up to
what resembles a deranged cat, sitting there on your head, every
morning? I do exactly that!
I have to use what the stylists call "rakes". Rakes
are stupid-looking, comb-like devices used to fluff up or define
curly hair. They are boring, but sometimes come in handy. Like
that day at the mall. Ah, yes, the ever-so-fateful Saturday shopping
bonanza had gotten under my skin. And it showed through my hair.
As I stood in front of the mirror in the ladies room, I looked
at hair from hell. One side was longer than the other, static
patches had erupted like volcanoes, and my curls just weren't
curled like they should have been.
After recovering from the fact that a person's hair could
actually do this type of thing, I practically threw myself into
a stall, and frantically began searching through my bag for any
sign of help. Tissues, lipstick, and spare change were being
shoved aside by my
flailing hands, when there, like a tranquilizer for that deranged
cat, was a rake, in all its glory. Holy choral music rang in
my ears as I began fixing my hair, as it slowly turned back to
normal. Wowee, what a rush.
In my case Grease is never "the word". True, curly
hair hardly gets greasy, frankly because it is as DRY as a bone.
This is not exactly good. Along with the dryness comes the frizz.
God forbid. My hair has become so frizzy, it's been hard to tell
there were even any curls under there!! I remember in one Phys.
Ed class, my poor hair was particularly frizzy and immense. In
a group with my friends, I had to jog on the spot. So there I
was, doing my thing. Suddenly, my friends burst into peals of
laughter and began pointing at my scalp. Apparently they were
laughing at how my hair bounced, and how it seemed to have some
kind of insane life of its own. Now I tie it back during gym.
Anyway, moving on...
With the dryness and the frizz enters the moisturizing shampoo,
deep conditioning, (conditioner is a must!), hot oil treatments,
scalp massagers, lightweight mousse, liquid gel, the famous 3
Minute Miracle. Finally, (no, we aren't finished yet!) with all
of the above there are split ends and tiny little knots. Yes,
knots. Knots that are impossible to get out and result in a trim
every month at the hair salon. Coincidentally, once I left it
a couple of months before getting a trim. Large, repulsive, nauseating
knots hung near
the end of my hair. Just picture that sad-looking disturbed cat
again, with no sense whatsoever for the word "groomed".
Needless to say, it was not pleasant.
Curly hair is similar to a plant. It needs water to survive.
Every morning, I shower my curls, but I've got to use warm water,
of course. Hot water dries out the scalp. A spray bottle filled
with water is a necessity for overnights where there is no access
to showers or taps. When everything seems utterly abominable,
that flyaway piece of hair, that threatening patch of frizz,
is when I thank the styling products. (Hurray for Salon Selectives!).
But we must not go hair spray happy. Your hair will be weighed
down and go limp. Or even worse, totally flat on top, resulting
in a pyramid type look. Be
After all these hair shenanigans, someone says, "Oh,
but it always looks nice," Yeah , when it's not raining,
humid, windy, or snowing. But the comment it greatly valued!
Don't get me wrong now. I do appreciate my hair when it looks
good, which is relatively often, but there is a HASSLE ladies
and gentlemen, a large, complicated one. So the next time you
come by a person with beautiful curly hair, that's perfectly
in place and intact, shiny, and defined, let me tell you, it's