The Top Ten Things I Think Are Cheap Crap!!!

I.J. Samson Junior High
St. John's, Newfoundland

By Chad B. (Grade 9)

As life goes on, brains are thinking up new and creative ideas to make life easier to live in. But, along the way, there is bound to be outrageously stupid ideas, or ideas so great that everyone wants to copies them. Same product, different name. These ideas make me mad. I call them cheap crap! With my fourteen years on this planet I've found ten cheap crap products that should be banned or burned. Come on along. Let's see if you agree.

Number Ten Raspberry Scentsations Crayola Markers
Raspberry Scentsations Markers are what you can say....Gross. If the marker smelled like raspberries it might have been fine, but they smell like highly toxic paint that stinks of all the chemicals in them. That's what it smells like to me anyhow, making it the first product I trash.

Number Nine Century of Warfare Videos
What stupid moron would go out and buy a video of World War One or Two? Some person who thinks blowing people and buildings up is cool, that's who! What I don't understand is how could thousands of people die, except the camera guy? Did he have a sign by him saying "Don't shoot me, I'm taping this for the people in the 1990's." I don't think so! These videos are dumb and stupid. Imagine watching the video then saying, "Hey look there's Poppy. So that's how he died."

Number Eight Polly Pocket
Polly Pocket should be called Polly Crappy because that's what it is. What kind of kid thinks it's fun to play with a 1 inch doll who can only move its legs which are stuck together? "Wow! Mega leg action going on there!" The play sets, what can I say about them? Corny little Ice Cream Shop and Dinky little Rodeo Ranch. How's that going to fit in your pocket?

Number Seven Velcro Sneakers
Why don't people know how to tie their sneakers? Why must they wear Velcro? Maybe if they made them more appealing to the eye, I'd like them more. BUT NO! They have to be gray, white, and plastic. Make them leather. It's not very hard to learn how to tie your laces!

Number Six Store Bought Raisin Cookies
Don't make me throw up! Homemade Raisin cookies aren't that bad. But store brand...Sick! When you open the bag, a gross scent of raisins fly's up in your face. Then each and every cookie is hard and falls apart in your mouth. And the raisns - a bitter taste. They must be 10 years old or more. How can anyone eat such things? I talked to an anonymous person who thinks the same thing. She says "I call them grandmother cookies." Then she adds, "They make me BARF!" I agree with this girl. She's absolutely right.

Number Five Torn-Up Jogging pants
Many people think jogging pants are comfortable. I bet they are! But is it really necessary to wear old torn up, paint splattered pants to school? Or wearing jogging pants with little lint balls, or shrunken up pants with the leg up to their ankles? I can understand if there are money problems in the family, but still. I know people who wear old jogging pants who can afford new pants. Some jogging pants are O.K! But most pants are bright green or faded black. I don't have anything against the person just their taste in jogging pants.

Number Four Pen Erasers
I don't know why they invented them. Pen erasers just don't work. You scrub and scrub with the hard gray eraser but nothing happens. Bic had a great idea. They watered down the ink of their pens so it would be easier to erase, but now the ink is too runny. I don't think anyone will ever find a way to erase pen!

Number Three Mr. Rogers
I never noticed it at the time, but now I see that Mr. Rogers is a very scary man. One, he sings lame songs to himself. Two, he has stop lights in the middle of his house. Three, he talks to a train. And last but not least, he dreams of a fantasy world with kings and castles. It's a good thing I never watched his show that much...I sure don't want to turn out like him.

Number Two School Toilet Paper
This is one reason why I never use the bathroom at school. Why does the school buy this stuff? Each sheet is thin, but for some unknown reason it's hard and stiff! I don't think anyone uses it. And if they have to use the bathroom, they bring their own paper from home. When I have a cold, I dread the thought of going downstairs to get a tissue. The school's toilet paper is garbage and should be flushed down the toilet.

Number One Ab Rollers
For some time now the most popular piece of fitness equipment are the Ab rollers you see all over the television. And boy, there are a lot of them! Ab roller, Ab Master, Perfect Abs, Power Abs, Abs Only, Ab Flex. It's enough to drive you up the wall. All the machines are the same. Tubed steel, foam arm rests, padded head support. And they all promise you the same thing. 10 pounds in one month, or your money back. Minus the 50 dollars shipping and handling. I am sick of these as I'm sure many other people are too. I hope someday this fad will fade!!!

As you've seen I hate a lot of things. But I know that as everyday goes by I'll find more things to trash.

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