June 2003
French articles
arts and expressions
about SNN
magazine archives


Musical Best Friends
By Kelly M., Grade 12, Delta Secondary, Delta, BC

"I don't need to be around that. If she's depressed I don't want to talk to her about it. That crap doesn't fly with me. If she were really depressed, she would have either gotten help and be on medication, or have killed herself by now." These are the words of a close friend talking about someone who is supposed to be one of their close friends. Sounds like they place a lot of value in friendship. So just because someone is sometimes depressed, it means that she can write them off? And what does she even know about depression anyway? Has she ever been depressed? No. Has she even been close to someone who was depressed? No. So what right does she have to judge? None. And if she is like that, then does she really give a crap about me? It doesn't really look like it, because if she can write someone off when they need friends the most, then I doubt that I could really depend on her if I needed a friend. So as I think about her, and about my relationship with my circle of friends, I wonder how much value do any of them place in friendship? How much do they value my friendship?

So this is a high school social life. This is the world of best friend of the week, the world of coolest person of the day, the world of the most hated person for no reason, the world where the word ‘friend' is thrown around where it doesn't belong, and the term ‘friendship' is used even more carelessly. It is a world where yesterday's enemy is today's accomplice in creating tomorrow's joke. It is a world where a never-ending game of musical friends continually rotates through the social spectrum of our lives.

A few fortunate people have found a friend or two who doesn't participate in the game, or at least not with them. And these friendships will last outside of high school, against odds that are more difficult than whether they have English class together or a rumor that challenges their loyalties to each other. These are the friends that will survive each other in their worst and best moments. Their relationship may fade, but will never break over trivial details, only dissipate slowly through time and change.

Then there are the friendships that will break down during the first couple months after high school because the social barriers of high school life which once formed the infrastructure of their lives has been removed, leaving them unsure of themselves, and of their place among each other. The cliques will dissolve as the participants slowly drop out of the game, one by one, and move on to new relationships, hopefully genuine ones.

Those that remain, are the ones who will continue to play the game, maybe blindly, maybe fully aware, but either way, still playing. They will continue outside of high school, and on into the world, maybe for the rest of their lives, maybe only for a few more years. Either way, they continue.

As high school ends, it leaves me almost sad that the game draws to a close. Even though I am fortunate enough to have some genuine friends, the game sucked me in early, and I rotated through most high school. And now, the game has left me here, at graduation. Even though the relationships were somewhat empty, they were fun. It is an inevitable, and important social experience to discover the realities and falsities of friendship. The importance, however, is to understand which relationships fit into each category. As I prepare to step out of the game, I wonder how many of my friends were the players, and how many that did play are prepared to quit the game and pursue something real. I guess that answer only comes with graduation. So I tip my graduation cap to those that continue to play, and turn in my chair for those that have yet to begin.


Back to Front Page